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Showing posts from August, 2025

The State of the Union—In the Bedroom

  It used to be simple, right? You'd meet someone, you'd like them, you'd go home, and you'd... you know. But now? Now it's a negotiation. It's a supply chain issue. It's a trade war! I was talking to a friend of mine, and he was complaining about this. My wife and I are having issues in the bedroom." And I said, "Okay, are we talking about a '404: Page Not Found' situation, or a 'Terms and Conditions: Subject to Change'?" He just looked at me, bewildered. It's true, though. You used to just know when things were going to happen. There was a sort of natural rhythm. Now, it's like you need a calendar invite. "Bedroom Time: 9:30 PM. Recurrence: Monthly. Note: Please bring your A-game." And then you get there, and one of you is already on your phone, scrolling through Instagram, looking at pictures of your friends' vacations while you're trying to have a vacation of your own! And the excuses! Oh, the exc...